Sharon Koehler

Let’s face it folks, the holidays are here. It doesn’t matter if you celebrate Hanukkah, Christmas, Kwanza or something else. They are here. And, truth be told, they may look a bit different this year than in years past. There will probably be a lot more social distancing, elbow bumping and mask wearing. Fewer parties, less hugging and kissing, more in-home dining and certainly more online shopping for gifts and surprises.

This is usually the time of year where I extol the virtues of the many helping charities like the Salvation Army Angel Tree or 30 Bikes in 30 Days programs, Christmas Mother, and Toys for Tots. All of these programs and many more need our help this year more than ever. The shop I work in raised, what was for us, a record amount of money for the Angel Tree program this year. I’m proud of that and I am proud of the people I work with for committing to the idea that we can make a difference.

All that being said, it’s not the charities I want to highlight right now. I want you to consider a different way of giving to your relatives and friends this holiday season. Before you run off to Amazon or Walmart+ and spend all your hard-earned money or run up credit card debt on “things” you think they want, I urge you to think a bit differently.

Maybe Aunt Bertha doesn’t need a smelly candle. Maybe what she really needs is a tank of gas or two before her social security check arrives. Maybe Cousin Edna doesn’t need another scarf. Maybe what she does need is help with her electric bill, or maybe your sister Suzy needs a babysitter for a night just to get out and decompress. Is it possible that Uncle Morty needs a couple of rides to the doctor, or that Grandma Grace would just like to have a cup of coffee and someone to visit with for a while? Maybe Grandpa Irving needs help decking the halls for his grandkids’ visit but can’t get up in the attic or down in the basement anymore to get the decorations. Is it possible that your neighbor Maybelle with the coke bottle glasses and arthritis needs help addressing holiday cards or wrapping gifts? Consider the idea that maybe your BFF may need some groceries or a prescription filled. The possibilities here are endless.

What’s that you say? You don’t have time! Really? You have time to wander around a mall aimlessly shuffling from store to store looking for that “perfect gift” for Cousin Greta but you don’t have time to babysit her kids while she goes to the hairdresser for the first time in months of quarantine? You have time to spend hours online looking for the “perfect gift” for Brother Clarence but you don’t have time to go to his home and help him trim those shrubs in his backyard? You have time to look through countless catalogs searching for just the right thing for Mama Abigail when all you have to do is make a double batch of spaghetti & meatballs so you can bring her some and she won’t have to cook a night or two.  Or if spaghetti isn’t your thing, throw a couple extra chicken breasts in the oven and bake a couple extra potatoes. (Whatever your cooking style, just go bigger.)

Now, truth be told, I did not come up with this idea. It’s not even a new idea. It’s been around a while. But somehow, as we approach the end of what has been at best a vile and repugnant year for a lot of people, maybe this can help turn a corner into the new year. We don’t necessarily have to “spend big” this holiday season, in some cases maybe we just need to “do.” 

Talk to your friends and family. Find out what they really need instead of what you think they might want. Bring your whole family in on it. Maybe you can’t help trim Clarence’s hedges but Uncle Morty can or maybe Mama Abigail can’t babysit Sister Suzy’s kids but Cousin Edna can. Work together. 

So go on out there and trim some hedges, give some rides, cook some food, fill some gas tanks and visit with whomever wants to have coffee (keeping socially distant, of course). Your wallet will thank you. Your family, friends and neighbors will thank you. Plus in the end, you will feel good because your stress level will be a lot lower, and you made a lot of people smile. What a way to go through the holidays and start a new year.


Please send your thoughts on this article to Sharon Koehler at Sharon@asdrva.rocks.